Limiting Tech Time During COVID-19

You may be feeling like there is no escape from the need to be plugged in.  Work requires you to be on the computer and the phone.  We are staying in touch with family and friends using video chat programs on phones and computers.  We are relaxing by playing video games, checking social media, reading, or watching programs and movies on technology.  It has permeated every moment of our day.  And our kids are doing the same thing.  They need it for school, social connection, and leisure time.           

Perhaps because of the current state of affairs, many of us are wondering if we are doing the “right” thing as parents: loosening screen time limits, allowing more freedom with social media (I’m letting my kids use tik tok?!), relaxing expectations for chores, getting dressed, and eating at meal times.  Right now the goal is to keep things moving forward in a relatively smooth manner.  And it can be done while still honoring your values, beliefs, and parenting expectations.

I get it.  This all sounds great.  On paper it is organized, well thought out and easily outlined for implementation.  In reality it looks more like arguments, persuasion and irritation.  Let’s take a look at what could be considered middle ground. 

We need to start by identifying what is a need versus what is a want.  Our kids need to have technology available to them in order to participate in the distance learning format of school. Your child may also need technology to participate in extracurricular activities.  And, depending upon your family structure, kids may need technology to stay connected with family members not living in your home, medical providers, and/or other individuals who provide care to them.  Time with friends, gaming, social media, videos, tv shows, movies, etc are all wants.  Some of these wants may hold high value in your house and others may fall further down the importance scale.  That is ok because we are talking about your family’s values and they all look a bit different.

It will be important to start with an understanding of how much time is needed for your child to complete activities deemed necessary that will require him to be on technology.  This number will dictate how long your child needs to be on technology each day.  While 3-5 hours of personal electronics time is not ideal  it may be the reality.  If you think of this as time your child would be at school and at practice or after-school activities, it may help to compartmentalize need from want.  

Looking at how to manage the wanting of technology is the true challenge.  You have the opportunity to be creative with setting limits on non-essential technology usage.  Let your values and sanity drive this set-up.  It has to work for everyone or it won’t work for anyone.  Keep in mind that younger kids might benefit from both personal technology time (using an ipad or Nnintendo switch) and family screen time (watching a movie together).  Older kids warrant a bit more freedom, but only a bit.  With the extensive amount of free time and lack of outside responsibilities and schedules/commitments it has become much easier for older kids to spend even more time on tech than “usual’.   

With the number you identified as necessary tech time, you will be able to make an informed decision about how much more time seems reasonable for your child to use technology.  There are many approaches to take when looking at allowing additional screen time.  Some of these arrangements could be: Set a specific number of additional hours per day that your child can use technology, set up a system where your child earns additional tech time: for every chore completed you grant 30 additional minutes of tech time; base tech time on active time (your child has to do something active before she can use technology).

Screen time is essential right now.  Additionally, you need to maintain some degree of sanity.  Let your kids use technology, maybe even more than you normally would.  The take home message is:  be sure you are making an informed and deliberate decision about how much time your child has access to his personal electronic devices.  

Links for additional information on the use of technology by children and adolescents

NY Times article on using technology and setting limits.  Includes ideas for different ages.    

PsychCentral has outlined some ideas for how to set limits and/or cut back on screen time.   

Common Sense Media has an article on screen time use.  It is also a great resource for reviews and information on all things media in our kids’ world today.